I'm really tired now.
There's no more extra energy to keep me move on and to be "Sandy" anymore.

I don't get it what drives me to fought so hard to pretend that I'm fine when I'm not.
Smiling and laughing away after a day, I really find it tiring.
Getting myself to do it when I know I'm not suppose to, I still did it.

Good as well.

If not, forever I won't know how much I meant to be.

If only this and if only that, ...
When one day "if" doesn't happen, I believe wherever it is, it must be happiness.

Too many events.
Too many feelings.
Too much of not appreciating.
Too much of not cherish.
Too much of not knowing how to treasure.

I choose not to be not appreciated, not cherish, not treasure.
I fought til the end, and I will. Definitely.
But energy is running out to keep me going, I'm tired now. So tired.

Tired of pretending to be fine yet not.
Still I told myself, I will be fine.
Yet, where do I find so much energy?